A Friend is Gone

 I first met Dennis some 48 years ago, seemingly quite by accident, but actually know now it was how the universe brought us together. A little burned out as a rehabilitation counselor, unknowingly with PTSD, 850 other folks and I applied for two open positions in a new office which had been created by Dennis himself. Somehow I made it through the screening process and was sent on for final interviews. Although Dennis had a supervisor of counselors who would be doing the interviews, he noticed me and brought me into his office for a chat. I later learned just how thoroughly he approached his work, and that he spoken privately to the oral board members, resulting in him directing the supervisor to hire me and do what he wished with the other position. This was the start of a long relationship, both personal and professional, and he was consistently there for me, as a leader and mentor. I really didn’t acknowledge my PTSD, and it led me to a number of wrong choices, but Dennis always stepped in to give me a nudge in the right direction. When I was bored and ready to move on, he gave me a supervisory challenge. When Vietnamese immigrants became our clients, he charged me, against my wishes, with creating and managing a program of services for them, a task which altered my view of humanity in general. When the federal and state governments gave us funding for a new program, he encouraged me to install my dream program, one I had told him about from grad school, while we were sipping wine in a hot tub…a place, rare for me, where I let someone other than my wife see my war-riddled body scars. 

When I think about those years and the time which followed, so many words come to mind….gratitude, trust, support, partnership, and, of course, friendship. Even as we lived an ocean apart, we maintained our connection, and when I began exposing my most intimate thoughts through poetry, he again became supportive and encouraging. It saddens me that we have lost such a good soul, but not his memory, and I know I will write about him as time goes by, including now…

My Friend

It was natural and easy

to tell him how I felt

after he had lain ill before,

after my own infirmity 

made us partners again. 

It’ll be harder now,

but not impossible.

Still, it’s been but a short while 

and I am already losing that smile,

the truth of his gaze,

the wonder of his face.

So I will write of him when I can,

tell others about a good man,

in this way perhaps I’ll let

myself never forget.