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Saturday, April 14, 2012

After the Apocalypse

After the Apocalypse,
the skinny people will die first,
the Nutrasystem people,
the Weight Watchers and joggers.
After Armageddon,
it won’t be all bad.
There’ll be no more ads
for breast augmentation,
e-mails for penis enlargement,
no calls for dental implants, or
teeth whitening.
Cataclysm will chase away
the need to get your belly
toned, tucked and tightened,
the desire for skin resurfacing,
the non-surgical solutions! to
thinning hair and poor eyesight.
The Day of Reckoning means
an end to rhinoplasty – creating
beauty one face at a time!
No sales taxes, no drowning in debt,
no DUI’s, no parking meters and no
meter maids. No more Craigslist,
and, after the Last Day, no need
for Suzy’s Coupons.
Depression? Normal.
Migraines? Everyone gets a few.
Smokers? Go ahead.
High blood pressure? You kidding?
Of course there’s the little matter of
But, hey, it’s the End of Times,
Not Eden.

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