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Saturday, April 27, 2019

Direction

East

Those of us who have
been to war
know there’s no such thing
as evening their score,
though, sitting now 
in a chemo lab, 
with thoughts of remorse,
sadness, shame and more,
I’ll take what solace I can grab,
pleased with any balance
I perchance score.
Through years of anger,
guilt, regret, I’ve yearned
for peace, forgiveness, yet
with memories forever burned,
as those who don’t know me
thank me for my service,
with no idea how it feels,
how much it makes me nervous.
I’ve forgiven myself 
a thousand times at least.
I’ll do so again today, 
quite possibly tomorrow,
the memory a determined beast,
the memory of a distant East.

3 comments:

  1. Your exquisite poem stayed with me all day I hope that you do not mind that I responded with one of my own.

    April 27, 2019 at 5:59 pm
    Toward Daniel ….
    an ode to and for Daniel Paicopulos
    ***

    perhaps it is only those who have truly
    been in war – not as visitors or spectators
    with flowers in their hair – but those who
    have been in war – with the acrid stench of
    burning still wafting from time to time on a
    sweet spring evening… perhaps, and I think
    this is profoundly true – it is only warriors
    who have the truest sense and yearning for
    peace – and perhaps the poetic heart who
    survives or is created on a long ago battle-
    field writes the balm that heals a scorched
    heart and awakens all with a call as clear
    as perhaps a Gabriel calling – come one and
    all together in peace – everlasting..
    And we listen in
    reverence for
    Daniel.
    As he brings us home.

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