The 17-Year Diet

And now, for the silliest of resolutions...



Having lost 1200 pounds
in his life, he was an expert,
50 each time, for 24 rounds,
in-between, a little growth spurt.
It’s quite easy, he would say,
a simple food vacation,
just a tiny price to pay,
a few months of moderation.
Avoid the butter, oils and fat,
keep the protein small and lean,
no white foods, none of that,
stick with yellows, reds and green.
Though some might yet resist,
not my friend so very wise,
he will tell you, yes insist
one must also exercise.
There’s a plan under the sun,
if you listen to this sage,
an approach for everyone,
every week an brand new rage.
Myself, I started dieting
back in 1995.
I’m still here, also healthy,
grateful just to be alive.
I haven’t lost much heft,
might have gained a pound or two,
but with what years are left,
no minor, minus resolutions will ensue.
I’ll stick to bigger goals,
positive, grand plans,
I’ll aim for lofty roles,
for the betterment of Man.