Changes

All of a sudden, it seemed, everything shifted.
I mean, now I look at myself in the mirror,
never have gotten stuck doing that before,
It’s my body, all right – skin grafts, check,
stitching scars, check, sagging lower belly, check.
What the hell, it’s a used body, this one, well used.
No, it’s not the body, at least not the externals.

There’s movement and change, I think maybe growth.
Never been a churchgoer, but I’m there now.
They don’t call it a church, it’s the Unity Center,
but what’s in a name, really? It’s a church.
There’s singing and praying and meditation.
There’s sermons and thoughts for living.
It’s a church, all right.

Even my dreams have been altered,
by cosmic forces or aging nostrils, who can tell?
Hopes and aspirations still abound, different now.
I’ve bought enough stuff, sold enough homes,
moved enough times, looking, seeking, reaching.
Now the goals are inward, searching for that place,
no, not a place, waiting for that spirit to touch me.

I’ve been poor before, really poor
No food, no money, no job, no ideas,
always been afraid it could happen again.
Careful as I am, it’s not going to show up soon.
How, then, will success be measured?
Perhaps it’s in how well I manage change.
Maybe it’s in just letting the change occur.

Whatever’s coming, there are a few things I know.
I want to laugh too much.
I plan to cry when it’s necessary.
I intend to be happy, healthy and at peace.
So, it’s not really change that’s due, at all.
It’s simply transformation.